Come see Futurestyle79 take on 1980

LIVE! On Stage! One Night Only!

Friday, Jan 14 at 8pm @ Off-Market Theaters

965 Mission St (btwn 5th & 6th) in SF!

Part of the Best of Off-Market (B.O.O.M.) Fest 2011

Click HERE for Ticket info

"Futurestyle 79 offers a funny, off-the-cuff look at San Francisco's heyday."

"A good cast helps make this an enjoyable evening of improv."

"When improv works, it can generate a kind of giddy joy for both actors and audience... On the night I attended, the story totally worked."

Chris Jensen, SF Weekly

CHECK OUT THE ON-LINE VERSION OF THE REVIEW @ SF WEEKLY.COM: CLICK HERE!

Writers and staff in front of the Future Style offices, San Francisco, CA, 1979. Photo by Daniel Sullivan

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Listen, Sugar



As an “award” winning author of romantic fiction, Cheryl-Lynn McAlister will answer letters from our readers to help them navigate through life and love at the end of the 70's...

Dear Cheryl-Lynn,

I understand that you are an advice writer for the love-forlorn. I am one of those people.

My boyfriend is a Scorpio and I am a Virgo. You can imagine the strife. He wants to be the first one to deflower me (we are not talking hippies here) but I want to save myself for my future husband.

I realize in this day and age, my perspective is quite old-fashioned. Did I mention he is in a band? And he wears a dark fringy vest that just stinks, because he doesn't wear deodorant.

You may indeed wonder what I see in him. It's those eyes, and when he sings, he looks (and sounds like) Jackson Browne.

How can I resist him, yet keep him interested? Should I suggest he get his "rocks off" (don't you hate that phrase?) with one of the groupies, or stay true to me?

I look forward to your advice.

Signed,
Virgin Virgo


Dear Virgo,

Listen, Sugar...don't you worry about being old fashioned. Where's the harm in that? I'd be one of the last to tell any girl to give up the bread slices for free because really, the man isn't going to worry about buyin' the whole loaf while he's enjoying a free sandwich.

Your Scorpio boyfriend is just looking to use his stinger. He may look and sound like Jackson Browne but it sounds to me like the relationship is "Running On Empty".

And I know you love his dreamy eyes when you're watchin' him on the stage. But, remember: up close, he's just "The Pretender" in a stinky leather vest.

"Stay" true to yourself.

xoxo-
Cheryl-Lynn
***

This next letter & Cheryl-Lynn's response were published in last month's Future Style. Cheryl-Lynn received a follow-up letter from "Ms. Williams" and so we're reprinting the original correspondence...

Dear Cheryl-Lynn,

My boyfriend of three years has decided that we have to break up because I support the ERA.

I told him that I had to support it; that it would enable me to make the same amount of money that he does (we work the same shifts) and that would mean MORE money for our family-to-be.

He claims to be a feminist in a man's body. But, this latest decision indicates to me that he is NOT really fully self-realized- in spite of his fondness for Listen To The Warm by Rod McKuen.

He says that if I drop my efforts to get the ERA approved we will have a happy life and we'll still live in equity. I am tempted. What would you advise? He did read Our Bodies, Ourselves in its entirety. And he has his own subscription to Ms. Magazine.

Waiting for a reply

ERA! ERA! ERA!!!

Ms. Williams


Dear Ms. Williams,

Listen, Sugar... this man is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Just because he talks the talk he is far from ready to walk the walk. And while he may enjoy Listen To The Warm he won't really listen until he's about to feel the cold.

I want you to think long and hard about what he's asking you to do before you make your decision. Do you think our great grandma suffragettes would be proud of you if you "drop your efforts to get the ERA approved."?

I want you to take a look at ERA.

Now, look at what it spells backwards: ARE.

Do you know "who you ARE" and will you be happy with "who you ARE" if you give up your beliefs to become who he wants you to be? The ERA will give us equality and with that comes freedom to choose to give ourselves some "space" to find ourselves.

He's saying without the ERA you'll "live in equity."

Take a closer look at that phrase: IN EQUITY

And now remove the space between "in" and "equity": INEQUITY

It's amazing what a little space can do.

xoxo-
Cheryl-Lynn


Dear Ms. McAlister:

Thank you for your quick response. His name is Billy. If you replace the "B" with an "S", you get his real nature. Amazing what "a little s'" will do.

I am taking your advice. My grandmother would be rolling over in her grave. Except that she was burnt up in a fire started by a grizzly bear. But, that's another tale.

You should write a column for a newspaper!

Sincerely,
Newly single and proud of it. I just burned Listen To The Warm. Now, I'm looking for Jane Fonda's biography. And Gloria Steinem's. And I just slapped the neighbor who called me "baby" silly.

Monday, October 11, 2010

October 13th Show

Tickets for this week's Live Event are going fast, everybody. Faster than ever before. It seems like people might be hearing something about these, getting out the word of mouth as it were. Better hop on it while the getting's good!

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/126712


Sunday, October 3, 2010

Lite Brite: A Colorful Array of Shining Light!

by Jeb Wilkerson

I usually don’t spend this much time playing with children’s toys. But, I must say, that I did just that with the Lite Brite.

It consists of a black peg holder, a white body with a light bulb in the center back, and a bunch of colored pegs. You can also get design paper that you snap onto the front, which gives you many fun designs to create.

This is a hit with the kids. But, as I mentioned earlier, it managed to entertain me for hours last night. I also found yet another, most likely unintended, use for this wonderful Lite Brite.

I do not have a green thumb. I am always under watering or over watering all of my house plants. As it turns out, I always forget to set the plants that require more sunlight outside during the day only to realize what I have done after the sun has gone to bed.

What I discovered is the following: If you hang your Lite Brite upside down from a hook above your plants, they receive the light that they would normally get during the day! I, in fact, love this idea so much I will be purchasing about 12 more Light Brights and will be making a Pilla Dundrum grow room in my basement!

Just think, San Francisco, the ability to grow your favorite house plants in the comfort of your own home, day or night! I see in the future many more applications for this, such as tomato plants and perhaps even squash!

Editor's Note: As of press time we were unable to determine what a "Pilla Dundrum" is, exactly. Therefore, the publishers of Future Style, its advertisers and the Hasbro Corporation disavow any knowledge of Mr. Wilkerson's extracurricular activities.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Collins' Column: There's No Business Like Show Business


I just want to begin by saying how much fun our live events have been! The response has been great! Please join us one of these upcoming Wednesdays (Oct 6-Oct 27). You'll find more information by using one of the "links" above!

Speaking of "show biz": Future Style received a call from the producers of TV's People Are Talking this past Wednesday. They wanted our advice columnist, Cheryl-Lynn McAlister ("Listen, Sugar"), and one person from our staff (of her choosing) to appear on the show the following morning.

Needless to say, we were all pretty excited!

Then, a few hours later, they abruptly canceled her appearance and replaced her with John Travolta (who happened to be in town for some reason).

One could shrug one's shoulders and say "That's show biz, kid".

I, however, prefer to furrow my brow and say: "That's just rude, People Are Talking".

You threw away your chance to feature a great local talent from a great local magazine (that could use some publicity) to chit-chat with some flash-in-the-pan, Hollywood pretty boy who'll probably be back to bussing tables once his novelty wears off.

I should point out that I don't direct my ire at Ann Fraser or Ross McGowan- whom I consider blameless victims in all of this. They were just doing what their producers told them to.

Ann & Ross: Mere Pawns In Media Mishigas

(No offense intended, Mr. Travolta. To be fair, my wife, Cookie, thought you were just wonderful in The Boy In the Plastic Bubble a few years back. I thought the script was somewhat trite- but I guess I can't blame you for that. And we saw Grease. But, that was more for Sha Na Na being in it. And they were hardly in it! I know, I know- not your fault...)

The point is: movies & TV shows come and go. And sure, it's fun to talk about "pop culture" and your frothy, Hollywood hoo-ha. But, when people are hungry for real information & entertainment, they'll always go to back to words on a printed page.

Speaking of Sha Na Na: I met them at Woodstock! Remind me to tell you the story some time.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Solar Eclipse: A Retrospective

by Jeb Wilkerson

Jeb Wilkerson is on assignment. We are reprinting one of his columns from earlier this year...


Hello, my fellow San Franciscans!

I love this city and even more than that I love science, technology, and the proliferation of truth.

What truth you ask? The truth of what goes on in the world around us. In this world there are many questions to be asked and the answers are out there my friends. Yes dare I say, the truth is out there!

In my last column, I told you about the upcoming total solar eclipse. In that article I spoke of the dangers and of the history of the solar eclipse. Well, the numbers are in and they are good. It looks as if old Jeb's advice was listened to and acted upon. There was not one case of blindness recorded in the entire US as a result of the eclipse.

O.K. There was one case. But, it involved a pitchfork. So, I honestly doubt it is related in any way shape or form. Unless, of course, it was the eclipse that caused the 32 year old man to drop said pitchfork. But, I digress.

On a more interesting note, the solar eclipse did end up casting a shadow that was 175 miles wide covering Oregon all the way up to North Dakota before moving on up to Canada. During this time, all of the states in-between were covered in a cloud of darkness. Certain sources have stated that for a bit of time it seemed as if some portions of the US went "off grid".

I have decided to head up my own investigation of this off-gridness. Any help you could provide would be of utmost importance. If you have any family that lives in-between North Dakota and Oregon that you could not get a hold of during the blackout, please send me a message as I would like to follow up with you.

Jeb Wilkerson may be contacted at futurestyle79@gmail.com